"How do you handle tantrums?"

I've been asked this question countless times. It's really very simple. Tantrum's, if they happen, are not acceptable public behaivior. A has only ever had one tantrum. And it wasn't even reallyba tantrum, more of a disobeidience that led to a prize thrown away and a walk out of the zoo. M, on the other hand has had several countless exhausting episodes. Heres my break down.

PUBLIC: what I mean is infront of anyone other than intermediate family. Whatever the situation that led to the tantrum, they need to understand it is not acceptable. I always get down to there level and tell them, " we do not cry when we arr upset, we use our words. I'm giving you til three to stop, or were leaving. 1-2-3". A usually sops up his tears and immediately says sorry, hugs, and i love yous. If your child has stopped, calmly explain that you understand (or ask for clarification) why they are upset, but they cannot have this behaivior. explain why whatever happened happened, and tell them its going to be Okay. remind them of anything like "remember were getting candy after the movie?"... kids do forget plans. If your childs behaivior did not stop at three, leave.

It doesn't matter if you are at a dr.s appt, in the middle of checking out, or eating dinner. Following through is the most important aspect of parenting. I always give them a last chance when we get outside, but if they cannot calm down, we are DONE. The conversation ends there. I do not engage there plees to go back, or there sorrys. I simply tell them, maybe next time we'll make better choices. chances are they will. If the tantrum follows us home...

HOME

again we do the 123 afrer explaining why we cant act this way. if it continues, time out. this repeats until they can calm down and do the "sorry" hug "love you" ritual with heart. if it progresses into anything other than what is stated above (biting, kickin,g, hitting, throwing things) my kids know there consequences. Loss of toys, clothes, special days, are all privilages. Playrooms have been off limits at times, no movies for a week for A has happened for less than a fit. We do not reward bad behaivior.

There has been weeks of M constantly in her room. That's okay. She has a hard time adjusting to the rules we have. Be consistant, and they will eventually know what is expected of them. Another thing i should add, we don't "watch" our kids cry. They can cry in there rooms or in a corner but they are not going to learn to guilt trip us with tears (if that makes sense).

Anyways. This is how we handle tantrums : I hope you can implement this, and solve any episodes you may have!