"raising responsive kids"

In all of our parenting lives we want similar things. Happy, healthy, loving, respectful children. We hardly ever hear responsive, thriving, excelling. This is why I wanted to start this blog.

I'd like for you to think back on the most influential parenting done to you. By your parent, uncle, sister, neighbor, whoever. Got it? Read on!

My most remembered parenting, was when my nieghbor told my god sisters (lol.. Long story!!) to "make good choices." This got me thinking... so many parents say "do this, don't do that"... It really belittles the Childs independence and show your lack of trust to that child!!! I in no means am saying never tell your child to not do something, but save it for really important things!!!

Rle: a was Walking across the parking lot, and let go of my hand. He was two, and was immediately sat down and told why this was dangerous. He was then given a choice. Either hold my hand or let mommy hold your coat. He refused both, so he got a timeout, next to a handicap sign in the parking lot. Immediately proceeding our sorry, hugs, love, he asked me to hold his coat. He proceeded to pretend to drive a car (which he would not have been able to do had I forced hand holding!!) I should add he was wearing his coat!!! Lol.

Now. Every time we cross a parking lot, I tell him to make good choices. He doesn't always hold my hand (4.5 years), but he always stays close and watches for cars. He has learnt on his own how to handle the situation appropriately for him. There are six year olds I wouldn't trust to not hold my hand, but a can let go any day. He's learnt to be responsive. Not unresponsive. He thrives when given opportunities to make choices, and most importantly he knows that I'm supporting his independence, and keeping him safe.

He is still very much learning to be completely independent. We enforce manners, ask him if he understands when it's needed, and he does get in trouble. We say "no thank you" or "no sir", and save "no!" for dangerous situations. We give him every possible opportunity to think for himself, and he puts himself in timeout most of the time. He feels empowered, and excels because of it. This is why raising responsive kids is a vital parenting technique! More to come -<3 Kristina